The shearing

It happened a month ago. Words cannot describe the effect (I myself have not been able to write/talk about it until now) so I have commissioned an artist to illustrate the effect after some brief corroborative detail to set up the scene...

I awake, bleary eyed, tired, in need of caffeinated Barry -- was up late the night before eating mars bars and drinking coke. Mouth feeling like I was up late the night before eating mars bars and drinking coke and with oral hygiene being among my routines, I enter the bathroom and brush my teeth. Catching my glare off the mirror I notice that my beard is unnaturally scruffy, and proceed to trim it. Being bleary eyed I do not check the length setting of the beard trimmer... the following photograph illustrates the outcome.

Fig 1: Picture of author before and after the shearing.

Now, I too see the elephant here, so I'll tackle it head on first -- yes. I am smiling, and it is an optical illusion.

As traumatising as it was, beards grow back. However, I'll conclude with one soulful confession -- with a beard in need of trimming I've developed a fear of trimming beards.