Lemsips and whiskey

I don't know what it is about me that attracts obscurity but I was shopping last Saturday afternoon ... and while it wasn't quite as bizarre as this episode it is the second most obscure shopping incident in as many shops. Here's the gist of the plot:



Niall is at a counter of a 18-20 year old clerk named Francis who is eying him up in a very suspicious way.

Francis: You know when you steal these cloths these little tags will sound an alarm when you go out the door unless they're removed.
Niall: Fascinating.
Francis: But I'm sure you know all about that, eh?
Niall: ...
Francis: When you've been working in shops as long as I have you develop an ability to spot serial shop-lifters from a mile off. Just be careful. For your own sake just don't try it.

Francis hands me the bag and I walk out of the shop.



When I was about six I went into a shop in my home town and was standing by the sweets, as six year olds tend to do. When nobody was watching I took one penny-sweet and ate it without paying for it, and lived in terror of being found out for about a year, when I acted again. The shop closed down soon after the second strike and for a while I was convinced that those two penny sweets were the difference between the camel struggling with his load and breaking his back. Unless this 'Francis' kid bore witness to these incidents of petty-theft and felt the need to confront me there are absolutely no other reasons, that I can see, for her suspicion.

Perhaps I'm being cruel though. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to discount her psychic abilities. Maybe in the future in a moment of weakness I'll remember that conversation and either remove the tags myself, as per her suggestion, or buy the cloths. Who knows?

In other news... I have a crippling man-cold which is not a whole bunch of fun.