The dummies' guide to procrastination!

Consider, if you will, the procrastinator. A simple person like you or I. What motivates him to avoid work? What is there to gain? How does he survive in the fast paced, survival of the richest, hard driven capitalist superpower that is today's world? One must always remember that procrastination isn't covered by your 'in-house training programmes'. There exists no committee whose only purpose is to regulate procrastination. No unit of acceptable procrastination levels exists. Not for public exposure and not for industrial productivity. The procrastinator is alone. Yet, he is an innovator because of this solitude and because of his removal from regulatory bodies; he makes his own way. This irony is always ignored by the procrastinator as he doesn't fight to survive, as he forever, by his own twisted motivations, invents new and progressive means of dissipating productivity to atrophy ... until the time is right.

But is the time ever right for the procrastinator to work? Is his belief that he might eventually relapse to workforce-fertility merely a tepid flirtation with responsibility, when procrastination knows it cannot live while responsibility survives?

Much of the latest research[2-4] shows conflicting views on the motivations and goals of the procrastinator. Because views and observations of the procrastinator are subjective, conclusions, apart from the ones the author draws in the following paragraph, cannot be drawn with the hard-rock foundations that journals of this calibre demand. This author, however, feels himself qualified, via the many proofs of his dedication and his years of expert contribution to the field of procrastination, to make one sound statement to the reader, and it is this: stop reading this and get some work done.

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[2] Twomey et al, Tea Brewing Techniques, Journal of Industrial procrastination for recreational detachment, Cork, '08.
[3] Twomey et al, An ambulatory and ubiquitious blogging system, Journal of passive procrastination for today's world leaders, Cork, '08.
[4] Twomey et al, All about busses, Journal of public transport systems in cities around Ireland, Cork/Limerick, '08.