So I was surfing the other day and found a website[1] that discussed a number of tea-brewing techniques so I've spent most of my time in Limerick so far trying them out.
The magneto-reluctance method (MRM): This tea brewing technique consists of a primary boiling unit and secondary storage unit which are thermodynamically separate and no feedthrough is allowed. Water is boiled from room temperature in a black kettle. While waiting for the boiling process to complete a cup should be brought from the cupboard to the kettle. A single, uncreased and unvitiated teabag should be placed in the cup. Wait until boiling point has been reached and pour the water into the cup. Avoid splashing at all times. The use of industry standard welding gloves is strongly recommended as temperatures approaching 100C are common. With a spoon stir the contents of the cup until an appropriate strength has been reached. Add milk/sugar, as per your personal tastes, and enjoy.
The magneto reluctance method was first popularised by Ghengis Khan during the second war with western Xia and it is commonly believed that all modern tea-brewing techniques derive from this primitive method. It commonly reaches a normalised 3-3.5 in taste and texture measurements but reaches a 7.5-9 in speed(nipi)ness, with three-sigma process variation included in simulations. As with all engineering disciplines a trade off between the quality of the final product and design difficulty must be reached. This product is good for general low-end volatile applications, such as family tea etc.
The inverse differentially-graded method (IDG) is similar in ingredients to magneto-reluctance method, but highly expensive equipment is required for the creation of even a meagre IDG cup of tea. Skill comes with experience and brewing confidence can mature, in some cases, after a long two weeks intensive training. Many firms, such as Microsaft, expose only upper management to this as it is a costly training procedure. At the heard of this method is the theory of pre-identified cause being realised by the system's initial conditions. Place the tea bag on a clean solid surface. Place the cup over it and pour boiling water into the cup. Leave for a minute or two and re-boil the water in the kettle. As boiling point nears pour the water in the cup down the sink and fill the cup with water. Then place the teabag on the water in the cup and cover with a plate. Leave for five minutes (or until flavoured to satisfaction), and scoop the teabag from the cup with a spoon, making sure not to squeeze any excess water from it and not allowing the teabag to touch the wall of the cup.
Clearly, the pre-instantiation heat injection phase, (injection into the cup and teabag,) adds stability and noise filtering before flavour instillation. When brewed by an expert T&T levels can exceed 7 and 8, but even by the most skilled hand speed will always be slow. 3-4.5 are common among professionals. It has been advocated, by dubious journals, that the there is not a single
taste difference between a cup of IDG and MRM, but the thought of effort-induced placebo effects is ludicrous! Simulations have never been able to identify why this makes a superior cup of tea, and routinely fall short of manufactured testbenches. It has been hypothesised that the high input contention and low feedforward currents tend to lower steady state power levels, resulting in a smoother sensation on the tongue, which of course, cannot be simulated.
The final method has been hailed by all modern critics as the "Mother of all cups of tea [...] ever"[2]. As with all leaps in technology it was discovered by accident, in Galway. A dyslexic episode swapped the words "pot" to "kettle" when discussing "making a pot of tea". The Integration by pots involves filling a kettle with lukewarm water and introducing two teabags at this stage. Heat and flavour is added integrally over the entire boiling process. Once the kettle boils the tea is ready for drinking. Use cups, milk and sugar as needed, but enjoy!
There you have it. Tea brewing techniques used by the professionals.
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The magneto-reluctance method (MRM): This tea brewing technique consists of a primary boiling unit and secondary storage unit which are thermodynamically separate and no feedthrough is allowed. Water is boiled from room temperature in a black kettle. While waiting for the boiling process to complete a cup should be brought from the cupboard to the kettle. A single, uncreased and unvitiated teabag should be placed in the cup. Wait until boiling point has been reached and pour the water into the cup. Avoid splashing at all times. The use of industry standard welding gloves is strongly recommended as temperatures approaching 100C are common. With a spoon stir the contents of the cup until an appropriate strength has been reached. Add milk/sugar, as per your personal tastes, and enjoy.
The magneto reluctance method was first popularised by Ghengis Khan during the second war with western Xia and it is commonly believed that all modern tea-brewing techniques derive from this primitive method. It commonly reaches a normalised 3-3.5 in taste and texture measurements but reaches a 7.5-9 in speed(nipi)ness, with three-sigma process variation included in simulations. As with all engineering disciplines a trade off between the quality of the final product and design difficulty must be reached. This product is good for general low-end volatile applications, such as family tea etc.
The inverse differentially-graded method (IDG) is similar in ingredients to magneto-reluctance method, but highly expensive equipment is required for the creation of even a meagre IDG cup of tea. Skill comes with experience and brewing confidence can mature, in some cases, after a long two weeks intensive training. Many firms, such as Microsaft, expose only upper management to this as it is a costly training procedure. At the heard of this method is the theory of pre-identified cause being realised by the system's initial conditions. Place the tea bag on a clean solid surface. Place the cup over it and pour boiling water into the cup. Leave for a minute or two and re-boil the water in the kettle. As boiling point nears pour the water in the cup down the sink and fill the cup with water. Then place the teabag on the water in the cup and cover with a plate. Leave for five minutes (or until flavoured to satisfaction), and scoop the teabag from the cup with a spoon, making sure not to squeeze any excess water from it and not allowing the teabag to touch the wall of the cup.
Clearly, the pre-instantiation heat injection phase, (injection into the cup and teabag,) adds stability and noise filtering before flavour instillation. When brewed by an expert T&T levels can exceed 7 and 8, but even by the most skilled hand speed will always be slow. 3-4.5 are common among professionals. It has been advocated, by dubious journals, that the there is not a single
taste difference between a cup of IDG and MRM, but the thought of effort-induced placebo effects is ludicrous! Simulations have never been able to identify why this makes a superior cup of tea, and routinely fall short of manufactured testbenches. It has been hypothesised that the high input contention and low feedforward currents tend to lower steady state power levels, resulting in a smoother sensation on the tongue, which of course, cannot be simulated.The final method has been hailed by all modern critics as the "Mother of all cups of tea [...] ever"[2]. As with all leaps in technology it was discovered by accident, in Galway. A dyslexic episode swapped the words "pot" to "kettle" when discussing "making a pot of tea". The Integration by pots involves filling a kettle with lukewarm water and introducing two teabags at this stage. Heat and flavour is added integrally over the entire boiling process. Once the kettle boils the tea is ready for drinking. Use cups, milk and sugar as needed, but enjoy!
There you have it. Tea brewing techniques used by the professionals.
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[1] No references here dot blogspot dot tv. But there is no wobsite.
[2] "The mother of all cups of tea? Never!" -- John Smith
[3] This was brought to you in conjunction with this.
4 comments:
My iced tea method:
1. Pour instant tea into container.
2. Add water.
3. Refrigerate.
4. Enjoy.
That Steve Sutton guy who made the Ice Tea freaks me out!!!!
instant tea? like instant coffee?
all granular and stuff?
weird man.
Yeah. That is quite weird actually. I guess I must be a ground tea snob so... weird.
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